Handbook To Killing An ExBorg Drone
by JestersGal
Summary: The tilte says it all ;) Pls RR
1. Setting 3 Can Kill

**The Handbook To Killing **

**An Ex-Borg Drone******

****

**Rating:** G

**Summary:** I don't really like Seven, don't ask why. So I come up with this idea of book devoted to her being killed, I got the idea while I was searching a website that had stories on there about her being killed (if its your website NICE ONE!!). So I hope you enjoy this 'book' Pls RR Thanx!

**Part One:** Third Setting Can Kill…

"Seven!" Captain Kathryn Janeway ran into the cargo bay to see Seven of Nine standing at the computer. "I need your help, it's an emergency!"

Seven looked at her, Janeway was dressed only in a towel with her wet hair going over her shoulders, and she was holding a hairdryer. "Captain, we're at Red Alert, most power is gone, and shouldn't you be on the bridge?"

Janeway sighed, "I know, but the backup systems are down too, and I was wondering, if I could use yours."

"I suppose this is the 'emergency' you were talking about?" Seven asked.

"Yes, now turn around."

Seven turned her back to Janeway, who undid her cat suit, then opened a hatch in her back. Then she started reading the labels to the power points: '**Warp Core Charger,**' **'Delta Flyer Second Backup Point,' 'Chakotay Akoonah Charger,' 'Doctor Emitter Charger,' 'Men Shaver Point,' 'Women Shaver Point,'** then she found what she was looking for: **'Hairdryer Point'** Janeway plugged in the end of her hairdryer and switched it on to the 2nd setting.

"Please don't turn it on to the 3rd setting, it will overload my circuits." Seven said.

Pretending not to hear her, Janeway shouted, "What!" Then turned the hairdryer to the 3rd setting.

"Captain!!!!!" Seven screamed before exploding with a BANG.

"Oh," Janeway looked at the end of her hairdryer; it was burnt and melted together. "Oh, no. I need a new hairdryer now." Janeway sighed, then stomped out of the cargo bay to repacate a new one.


	2. A Game Of KadisKot With A Twist

**Part Two:** Kadis-Kot With A Twist…

Neelix ran into the Cargo Bay, holding a Kadis-Kot board to see Seven of Nine standing at the computer.

"Time for our game of Kadis-Kot!" He smiled as he put the board on the computer top, then started setting it out.

"Not now, I'm busy." Seven replied.

"But the Captain made a few changes to it; I want to know what they are!" Neelix said cheerfully.

"Then play with someone else."

Neelix replied, "The Captain said I should play with you."

Seven sighed. "Fine, I'll be green."

"No, the Captain said you have to red and orange." He told her.

"Why don't you just play with the Captain, no that's right she told you to play with me. Do you do everything she tells you to do?" Seven asked coldly.

"Mmm, let's just play." Neelix looked at the board, and then picked up a green counter. "Green, grid 11."

"Orange, grid 30. Or did the Captain tell you to tell me where to put my counters?" Seven asked as she moved her counter.

"No she didn't. Green, grid 5."

Seven picked up a red counter and placed it on grid 13. There was a loud bang, sparks flying out from the board.

When Neelix opened his eyes the Kadis-Kot board was replaced by a hole in the computer top. He looked to where Seven was standing, only her shoes remained and bits of the board and counters.

"Great, that means I have to clean up this mess." Neelix complained to himself as he left the Cargo Bay.  


	3. Borg In Space

**Part Three:** Borg In Space…

Captain Janeway sat in her Commander chair, it was a quite day on _Voyager_ and she wanted some action. _I feel like blowing something up_, she thought and looked over to Chakotay's lap. _No, not that blowing_. Then she came up with an idea. She tapped the buttons on the Command console, hoping Chakotay wasn't watching.

5 minutes later…

"Captain, I'm picking up a Borg signal." Reported Harry Kim.

_Time for some action_, Janeway tapped the buttons again then said, "Tuvok, fire torpedo!"

"Captain?"

"It's a Borg cube Tuvok, FIRE!"

"Aye." Tuvok fired a torpedo just as Janeway put it on screen to see it explode.

"Ah, Captain, that's not a cube it's Seven." Harry informed her.

"Well, one torpedo, seven cubes destroyed, not bad Tuvok." Janeway quickly stood up. "I'm going to my Ready Room." Then she quickly walked off the bridge, smirking to herself. _Never mind, I had to blow something up, she wasn't doing anything but take up Season 4 what was going to be my season!!!!!_


	4. The 'Off' Switch

**Part Four:** The 'Off' Switch…

"Report!" Janeway ordered as she walked into Sickbay and over to the main bio-bed, where the Doctor was operating on Seven of Nine, who was lying on the bed with her scalp missing to reveal Borg technology.

!I've come across a problem with her memory circuits. Please can you look at the book." The Doctor replied.

Janeway walked over to the table and picked up instead of picking up 'A Tour Through An Ex-Borg's Body,' she picked up 'The Handbook To Kill An Ex-Borg Drone,' _I've been looking everywhere for this_, she thought as she turned to part 4, _yes, this is prefect._

She walked over to the Doctor, still reading, then she put a finger in Seven's head and flicked a switch. The Doctor ran his tricorder over Seven to get a long beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"That's one less problem to worry about. Call if Neelix ever comes in here." Janeway walked out of Sickbay, taking her book with her.

The Doctor stood still, in a state of shock, _if only I had seen that earlier…_


	5. Hand Over The ExBorg Or The Coffee Beans...

**Part Five:** Hand Over The Ex-Borg, Or The Coffee Beans Get It…

Captain Janeway ran onto the bridge to find they were at red alert.

"What's happened now?" She asked, looking at Commander Chakotay.

"The Borg are threatening to destroy something of yours if we don't hand over Seven."

"What 'something' do you mean?"

Chakotay looked around to Ensign Kim and nodded. The veiwscreen flicked and the Borg Queen appeared on it.

"Captain," She said.

"Cut the chit-chat and tell me what you're planning to destroy." Janeway said.

"Well, I was thinking, if you don't hand over Seven then the life-time supply of coffee beans, not that repacated stuff, will go up in flames." The Queen informed her, and then she moved slightly to her left so Janeway could see the jars of coffee behind her. Janeway could feel her mouth start to water at the sight.

"Deal." Janeway simply said then she tapped about with the buttons on the Command console and beamed Seven to the Queen. When she looked back at the screen the jars disappeared from the cube.

"Their in your Ready Room." Then with that, the Queen was gone.

Janeway started to her Ready Room, hoping to enjoy a nice of non-repacated coffee when Chakotay said. "Captain-"

"Don't say it Commander." She interrupted, "I know what you're going to say." She turned to face him, "But the answer is no. I'm not sharing my coffee for anyone."

Then she turned and walked into her room for a mouth-watering cup of coffee leaving Chakotay standing where he was on the bridge.


	6. Dead Borged

**Part Six:** Dead Borg-ed…

Janeway walked back and forth in her quarters, bored out of her mind. _What can I do that's fun?_ Then it clicked. She ran out her quarters and into the turbolift. "Deck 8."

 When the turbolift stopped she ran out of it and into Astrometrics, where Seven of Nine was working. Seven turned around to see Janeway pull her phaser out of her belt, then she pointed it to Seven and fired it.

Seven fell to the floor; Janeway smiled as she put the phaser back into her belt, then sighed. "Bored again,"

Then she had an idea, "Computer start up holodeck 2, load up a battle area and put a holographic Seven in there." Then she ran out to go to holodeck 2.


	7. Hair Pasta To The Seven

**Part Seven:** Hair Pasta To The Seven…

The Doctor stared down at Seven's body, looking puzzled. _How could she of died like this, she wasn't meant to touch the stuff_.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" Janeway asked as she stood next to him.

"Captain, who took over for Neelix in the Mess Hall?"

Janeway hesitated, "Me."

"Neelix told her not to eat Hair Pasta, didn't he?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes, and I did not give her any." She replied.

"Right, then how did this happen?"

"What? How did she die?"

The Doctor looked at his Captain, "Choking on a hair ball."


	8. Overload

**Notes:** Thanx to CaptainKJ, for this idea!!

**Part Eight:** Overload…

Chakotay walked into Cargo Bay Two to see Seven of Nine regenerating in her alcove. He casually walked over to the computer that was in front of her and tapped about with the buttons, then looked at Seven, she was beginning to fry and started to smoke. Then, as if she was one of Janeway's pot roasts, she turned to black ashes.

Chakotay smiled to himself,_ now they have to let me have Kathryn_, and started walking out of the Cargo Bay when Janeway walked in.

"Captain it wasn't me. She was like that when I came in here," He quickly lied.

"Chakotay don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. In fact you did me a favor; I was coming down here to do that my self." She smiled.

"What to grab some lunch?" Chakotay asked.

"Okay."

Chakotay took hold of her hand as they walked out, leaving Seven's ashes to smoke…


End file.
